Enough to Touch
by Cherrie
Summary: Kaoru had been long convinced that she loved Kenshin, but how will she be sure he feels the same way?


Enough to Touch  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. Rurouni Kenshin and all mentioned characters are not mine, I'm merely borrowing. Thank you for the patience for reading this ^_^ Fic done in Kaoru's POV.  
  
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I stared into the still waters of the calming lake, the full moon giving me the light I needed from the darkness and chill of midnight. I wasn't able to sleep, I found my mind too preoccupied to give in to slumber. I'm not sure how I feel like, a mixture of happiness and relief, worry and anxiety.   
  
For the past months, I've never had any decent sleep. Megumi had told me before that I worried too much. Perhaps she was right. But I couldn't help it, I admit that sometimes I get too soft. I get hurt easily, and I cry easily. I have found myself weak, sometimes up to the point that I just cried out of self-pity. And that doesn't seem to be of much help either.   
  
Kenshin no baka!  
  
I have long before admitted that it was always he who'd caused me all these. And yet, I could not blame him, it was all out of my naïve faith that he'd always be by my side. I had neglected the tears whenever he'd make me smile, forgotten the pains of his loss whenever he looked at me. I had been like a child waiting for nothing but happiness, a child at play that didn't mind the scratches of fall when I run.   
  
But I couldn't hide the truth that there might not be a chance for me to take the same feeling from him. If he gave me a different gaze from what he gives everybody else, then I must be blind not to see it. He had not given me any chance to even think he knew of my feelings, he never gave me any clue to at least base a dream upon. He only gave me smiles, never-ending protection, and yet I doubted if there was any meaning in his actions. I might just end up crying again if this dream would only remain a dream. I'm not quite sure whether or not what he's giving me is enough. I just might cry again.   
  
But I have never found myself cried so much until that time. Everything had been painfully carved into my memory, I'm afraid I will always remember it 'till the day I die. I had never felt so much pain, so much grief. Everything was so clear. The silence. The fireflies. The calm waters that seem to further mock my emotions.   
  
Kenshin…  
  
I will never forget that night when he had bid me goodbye. I was so afraid that it would last forever, that he will be lost to me that I found myself immobile even as he had walked away from me. I wanted to call out to him, to beg him to stay, but he had long gone even before I took full consciousness and determination to find my strength.   
  
And yet it was that very same goodbye, the very same feeling of hopelessness that made me go after him. The sheer desperation for the sight of him had filled me with enough strength to travel the whole of Japan, even the whole world if needed be. That time, all I wanted was to see him once again.  
  
I was relieved to find him all right. I was relieved when it was all over, when he had finally agreed to go home. And I was never more relieved than today, when I heard him say the word that will forever be a memory in my heart.  
  
Tadaima…  
  
"Kaoru-dono?"   
  
I glanced back, at the voice that I have gravely missed. If only he knew…  
  
"Hai, Kenshin?"  
  
He smiled at me, his eyes drowning me in the midst of his intent gaze. "It's getting late, it's best that you get some sleep," he said, his voice calm and soothing, his smile pulling me into a hypnotic trance that only willed me to obey with all greatest care and concern. I couldn't help but smile. I nodded at him, and he held out his hand to take mine, pulling me up from the cold grass beneath us.   
  
Arigatou…  
  
I couldn't see whether or not he was surprised when I threw my arms around his neck, holding him to me as close as my body permitted me. We stood in awkward silence, only to find his arms resting on the small of my back and held me just as tenderly. We stood still, savoring the moment, with only the midnight breeze to cause us movement. I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling the smallest tinge of tears behind my eyes. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Kenshin."  
  
We pulled away, but he held onto my hand as he walked me back to the dojo, but not before I could see him smile.  
  
I love you, Kenshin…  
  
And with only the touch of his hand, it was enough for me to be sure he felt the same way.  
  
=Owari= 


End file.
